(A Brutally Honest) Year in Review: 2015

Warning: If you wanted a chipper year in review, you should probably read someone else’s blog for that. People do say that you are your worst critic, but everything I’m writing about is warranted (or at least in my opinion). Also not too many pictures for this post as I don’t want to detract from my writing, but they will be coming up in another post soon.

2015 was quite honestly a major disappointment, and it was mainly my own fault. It feels like I haven’t learned from my mistakes ever since I started going to university, or it just might be because I’m writing this while being slightly sleep deprived at 1:30 in the morning with a cold and the chill from the ongoing ice storm makes me extra critical about myself. Let’s say a bit of both.

The Bad Stuff

  • After winter semester I was on my way to finally getting my GPA back to a 3.0, but this fall semester eliminated any chance of that happening (quite possibly not even when I graduate next year).
  • Took the MCAT. Got an okay score, but still mediocre and most definitely would not make up for my GPA, so a retake in May it is.
  • Got a B- in my ethics class where I could’ve received an A- or higher if I actually put more effort into the course (aka actually read material more than the night before exams).
  • Had to drop my genetics course because I couldn’t focus on that class and my analytical chemistry class with its corresponding lab class without failing at least one subject.
  • Because I dropped genetics, it sets some courses I need for my biology degree a bit back, or I may have to take two biology courses over the summer.
  • Turns out even though my lab grade was alright, my lecture grade was pretty terrible (and another retake it is).
  • Yet another semester of no one showing up for my student organization’s events, or they just take advantage of the free supplies and don’t return hooks or needles.
  • With that being said, still no charity blankets have been completed.
  • I’ve also only completed a handful of projects compared to last year.
  • I’ve only published three patterns this year, but there’s still a ton of notebooks with ideas that haven’t come to fruition.

The Good Things That Happened

  • My winter semester GPA was a 3.5. (I could at least be happy for that.)
  • I hit an average score on my MCAT, so my studying technique was on track and just needs to be refined a bit more (and adjusted to fit for studying throughout this upcoming semester)
  • I don’t need to retake analytical chemistry lab, and I can use this past semester’s notes to make my retake grade an A in BOTH genetics and analytical chemistry.
  • Despite the setback in core degree courses, I can still take Intro to Neurobiology.
  • I got accepted to join a research project this upcoming semester with the school of public health.
  • Despite lack of student interest, I was able to meet other yarn enthusiasts and network with them to do teaching workshops (and got access to their yarn stash!), plus I got to explore more of Midtown and Eastern Market to boot.
  • Warm Up America gave my student organization 500 segments to sew into blankets, so at least half the work is done and I can find helpers outside of campus.
  • Finally got a Steam account so I can play Civ 5 (and stop living vicariously through my boyfriend’s playthroughs) and have a hobby besides knitting, crocheting, and cooking.
  • My knitting’s improved, so my project possibilities have increased.
  • I’ve been mostly healthy physically and emotionally for this year. No intestinal issues to send me into the hospital, and I’ve managed to get through two semesters without CAPS support (dur to conflicting schedules) and not end up with overwhelming anxiety.

At least I tried to get some positives out of this year, right?

What went wrong, and how can I fix it

I really let myself go after my MCAT. I was 100% done with keeping up with rigorous scheduling, website limiters, and most forms of accountability trackers (sans my planner) I had going on. On top of that, being slightly three weeks behind on school material because of final MCAT preparations didn’t help matters so it’s clear why I tanked this semester.

I guess I should be grateful that fixing my problem from this semester is rather easy, but besides that I should really know when I’ve bitten off more than I can chew. That seems to be the top recurring problem every semester, since every time post-midterm I lose my motivation to do anything, feelΒ so overwhelmed by the amount of tasks that I decided to take on, and end up curled up in a ball mindlessly browsing the internet.

Obviously this crap has to stop, especially since I’m applying to med school pretty soon. So back to using Tick Tick, back to making color-codedΒ spreadsheet schedules, and be more mindful in using Trello to keep track of Cuddlelump-related stuff. I also shouldΒ get back to using timeStats to limit my internet usage since I’ve gotten back into the habit of mindlessly browsing imageboards, reddit, and tumblr even though I have something huge going on the next day. It’s sad to admit, but I probably would’ve finished more projects, written more on this blog and really just be in a better state if I didn’t lurk a lot. Plus, I shouldn’t be having that much negativity in my life.

It’s quite apparent that students honestly aren’t that interested in my knitting and crochet club, and I shouldn’t beat myself up over that. This semester I’ll have to network with as many student organizations who are willing to “adopt” and sew up a blanket with me. With that being said, if I’m able to coordinate events with enough student organizations I can eliminate the need of having my own meetings (and with that, eliminate the depressing feeling of sitting alone for three hours in the student center, blindly hoping for someone, anyone to help out).

Overall

This year could’ve been better if I honestly recognized my limitations. Although brutal to keep up with, I need to readopt my summer MCAT studying state of mind and improve on that (little to no leeway!) in order to eliminate unproductive browsing and get more things done. And I need to get things done.

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